Monday, April 11, 2016

On to the Next Chapter

ECT is over, at least for now. I went for my scheduled appointment this morning with the intent to talk to my doctor first to explain how I wanted to stop the treatments. I explained to him that I am feeling very well, that I go to a DBT (dialectical behavioral) group every week and just cut back to every other week with my therapist. I am now working part-time and feeling quite good. I explained how the act of traveling to the ECT treatment and being around other patients who are very ill is traumatizing for me and only increases my anxiety to an extremely high level. There's no relief for me at this point when I come for the ECT treatment. It helped to bring me out of my severe depression and now that I am out, I want to live my life and enjoy this time.

My doctor was very supportive and appreciated how well I am doing. He agreed to stop for now and to monitor me closely. Luckily I already have an appointment with him in his office this week so we can discuss it more.

As I learn more and more about myself through this process, I am pleasantly surprised that while I was very anxious yesterday in thinking about today, I was able to discuss it with a clear mind with my husband and a close friend. I was able to sort through the pros and cons and think about it reasonably. That, in and of itself is progress! I am proud of myself, not only for handling myself in a responsible way but for also sticking with my gut and following my clear thoughts. I am lucky to have so many friends and family members as advocates but I will always be my best advocate.

And now back to my regularly scheduled life, which certainly includes doctor's appointments and therapy visits. It simply rolls on in a new chapter...