Monday, October 7, 2013

Cranky, Tired and Hopeful

I am now at the point in this crazy process when I am very tired, cranky and yet I am hanging on to hope. Today started my highest dosing of estrogen which is just not a normal amount of a hormone for any human being (as many of you other infertiles can understand!). My transfer date is next Tuesday, the 15th and I am readying my body and soul for that day. But, I still need to get through the next 7 days which is made more difficult when everything and everyone is pissing you off! Luckily my patience with my 3 year old daughter has been good but my poor hubby certainly suffers. He knows from experience what the hormones do to me but sometimes I wish he could experience this for himself...how utterly horrible it feels. Not that I wish this on him, but it could bring more understanding. The bruises on my arms from my blood tests are nothing compared to what is going on inside of me. I do worry about the long-term effects of being on these high doses of estrogen all these times. I will need to ask my doctor about this...of course, I hope it is all worth it but if it means a bigger problem in the future, that is scary. I wonder if the doctors even know yet what the long-term effects are since the technology is rather new, especially for women who have been trying for years and years.

I will keep trying to keep my emotions in check and get through this week, even if it means eating more chocolate!

8 comments:

  1. It's coming up quick! I hope the week flies and your husband has a flash of empathy and babies you this week. I'm glad you have your little girl to take comfort in, in the meantime.

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  2. Its going to be here so fast. I hope this week flies by! Thinking of you! My emotions are EVERYWHERE because of these hormones. I go from happy to sad to crying to laughing. My poor poor hubby just never knows where I am on the rictor scale lol.

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  3. Our poor hubbies. They get it and most of the time understand that we don't want to feel the way we do as much as they don't want us to act that way. I say stock up on chocolate if that's what it takes! Fingers crossed for next Tuesday.

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    1. Thanks...about to enjoy some chocolate now!

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  4. Chocolate is always the perfect cure!

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