So it now begins...the official last hurrah. I took my first Estradiol pill this morning and therefore have begun our fourth frozen embryo transfer attempt. I am trying to remain calm and not stress too much. The past couple of weeks have been difficult as my moods have been all over the place and now I am concerned of the long-term effects of taking all of this estrogen and progesterone. I will need to discuss with my reproductive endocrinologist.
I am relieved and excited about this attempt for it will give my husband, daughter and I closure, one way or another. Of course I want to become pregnant from this and complete our family, but if not, I will know we did all we could mentally, physically and financially and we can then move on. That is what is calming me a bit more in this attempt...there is light at the end of the tunnel and the light is bright and positive, no matter what happens. It is not about already having a daughter, for whom I am beyond thankful. I will still need to mourn not having another child and not giving our daughter a sibling. I will make it all okay for me, for my daughter and my husband, for the three of us.
This is my focus and my serenity.