Well, I saw my fertility doc today and I am so thankful for him. I have seen him for the past 7 years and began with him due to uterine fibroids. He performed my first "big" surgery to remove the fibroids and I will never forget him holding my hand as they were putting me out.
I was calmed as I walked into his office today, as I usually am. We talked about this last FET (frozen embryo transfer) and my weird reaction to the progesterone injections (severe pains, difficulty walking, weird red splotches on my leg). He said we may never know why these last 3 FETs did not take. What we did today was some blood tests: thyroid (I am hypothyroid and on meds), blood sugar (past insulin resistance). We discussed the protocol for my next FET which will be estrogen and crinone. I will also have another sonohysterogram next month to make sure everything still looks good (I had one in October 2012 but my doc wants to be sure nothing has popped up since then).
This is a good plan...it's the only plan. I don't mind the tests as they give me something to focus on, something to do. It will help me get through until the next try. Even though I would love to know why this has not worked, I will have to settle for this. This is the hard part as I am someone who likes clear answers that are logical. I just have to "sit" with this for now.