Tuesday, July 30, 2013
That's it! Why should I have to boycott Facebook? Why don't these women who are so damn lucky to have babies take a break from their daily postings? Why do we, the infertiles, need to constantly be the ones making changes and altering our lives? We do it to our bodies with pills, injections, suppositories, tests, etc. Why can't it be someone else for once? Don't we deserve a break?
Friday, July 26, 2013
So, just got the call from my fertility doc and my blood test results were all normal. Good news. Glad things are normal although I was hoping for a quick fix..."increase this med and you will get pregnant." This phone call came while I was getting my hair color done listening to several women lament about how horrible pregnancy can be.
Have a good weekend!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Sorry this is a bit gloomy, but this is where I am right now. Feeling a bit alone and cut off. I can't go to MA every weekend to see my close friends and have been trying to create the next chapter of my life where we are now. It just seems to be taking a little longer than I had hoped.
I am hopeful that things will turn around and more connections will be made. I am always hopeful.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
I am still waiting for my blood test results from last week and may wait another couple of days. I am trying to focus on next month's SHG, as that is something active I can do and feel a part of this crazy process. That's the thing, when I am taking meds and doing tests, I feel empowered that I am an active participant in the process; when I am just waiting, well, that is the difficult part.
So, I will continue to wait, take some ativan when I need it and get through this phase of the process. I am exercising again and eating better than I have been and I know that will help, as well.
Maybe this last fight is over, but the battle continues and I am not done yet.
Friday, July 19, 2013
I was calmed as I walked into his office today, as I usually am. We talked about this last FET (frozen embryo transfer) and my weird reaction to the progesterone injections (severe pains, difficulty walking, weird red splotches on my leg). He said we may never know why these last 3 FETs did not take. What we did today was some blood tests: thyroid (I am hypothyroid and on meds), blood sugar (past insulin resistance). We discussed the protocol for my next FET which will be estrogen and crinone. I will also have another sonohysterogram next month to make sure everything still looks good (I had one in October 2012 but my doc wants to be sure nothing has popped up since then).
This is a good plan...it's the only plan. I don't mind the tests as they give me something to focus on, something to do. It will help me get through until the next try. Even though I would love to know why this has not worked, I will have to settle for this. This is the hard part as I am someone who likes clear answers that are logical. I just have to "sit" with this for now.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
I am thankful that she is okay, just an allergic reaction to a new food this morning. She has egg and milk allergies and now I am guilty of poor label reading. I looked at the package of the soy sausage and it clearly states "egg whites." I feel horrible. You can't see it in this picture, but she has hives all over her. Great job, mom! It is difficult to parent a child with allergies and you are always on your guard. Apparently, I was not on my guard yesterday when I bought this food item.
So, this is all not about me, my fertility woes...it is about this wondrous child I already have who counts on me and needs me.
I am truly lucky.
Monday, July 15, 2013
I must be crazy to be this annoyed, right?!?!
UGH! Is this 95 degree weather making anyone crazy??
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Lucky for me, my daughter told me I'm her "best friend" and that just makes everything better!
Hope everyone is having a great weekend! It is beyond tropical here in the northeast.
Friday, July 12, 2013
My life right now is putting on a happy face for my 3 year old (not that hard to do with her!) and then trying not to grimace when I walk by a pregnant woman at the grocery store. I also have to deal with women who are not too bright, some of them friends. They say things like, "my husband just looks at me and I become pregnant." Well, goodie for you. In this age of information everywhere, if you say that to the five women around you, chances are, one of them has fertility issues! Let's try to be a bit more sensitive, shall we?!
I will keep trucking along, as there is no other option. I love my husband and our daughter more than life itself. The issue is if I can't give my daughter a sibling, will she be okay...will I be okay?